Author Topic: CF member as a single parent-on course, deployed ect... [MERGED]  (Read 86173 times)

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Offline sunflour

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well i got my call last week  i leave this sunday for basic in St-Jean
im ready to go  and i hope i have prepared my son for me to leave (he turns 8 on friday ) the best i can with just over a weeks notice that moms going to go away till almost christmas..

just wondering if there are any other single parents or parents with younger kids (ive read some post  but their kids were teenages) out there with advice about what you did/ do when your away from your kids to help them and yourself cope with the seperation

Offline armywife/cadetmom

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2006, 09:52:58 »
Hello there.
Thought i would give my two cents on this....
When i was away from my kids (not for the military but an externship, they were 4 and 6 then and i was a single mom) i called them alot, wrote and sent 'care packages' of books and treats.
WHen my husband is away with the military he does the same.  Constant reassurance that you'll be home soon, interest in what they are doing is very important.
THe MAIN thing i have found is that our children absorbe our emotions.....if your sad, upset and miserable...they will become sad upset and miserable.  ALways shine positive light on the situation.  Express how AWSOME it is to get their letters, evoke anticipation in them by 'teasing' them about the 'surprise' your mailing them....make them a part of the experience by sending home a 'Ste Jean or Borden' Tshirt (where ever you are) my kids loved getting things like that..(my son is 9 and my eldest daughter is 7)  Photos of your room, you, stuff your doing is also great. 

I know how hard it is to be a mom, and to be away from your child...if you need anything PM me.

Best wishes to you at Basic!!!!  Look forward to hearing from you after you graduate!!!!!!!!
~Proud to Support our Troops~
*Proud Soldiers Wife, Mom of an Army Cadet and 2 Highland Dancers*

Offline sunflour

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2006, 10:15:16 »
Thanks for the sugestions  i had planned on calling him when ever i get the chance and i know his aunt and grandma will help him send me letters  but it hadnt crossed my mind to send him a care package  tho once im there im sure i would have thought of it as anytime i do go away anywhere even if its a day to so to somewhere new i always bring him back something
he love anything military and is so excited that im now in the army ill be sure to send him a pic of me with my C7 when i get it  and my room and stuff  :)

Offline Carcharodon Carcharias

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2006, 10:23:50 »
well i got my call last week  i leave this sunday for basic in St-Jean
im ready to go  and i hope i have prepared my son for me to leave (he turns 8 on friday ) the best i can with just over a weeks notice that moms going to go away till almost christmas..

just wondering if there are any other single parents or parents with younger kids (ive read some post  but their kids were teenages) out there with advice about what you did/ do when your away from your kids to help them and yourself cope with the seperation

Hey Sunflour, good on ya for doing your bit!

Let us know how you go, and good luck!

Regards,

Wes
"You've never lived until you've almost died; as for our freedom, for those of us who have fought for it, life has a flavour the protected will never know." - Anonymous

Offline wotan

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2006, 14:24:47 »
  Myself and my wife are both in the Force and we have two kids, 15 and 11 now.  However, when they were younger, I used to deploy a lot with 1 CMBG (it's the wife's turn now).  Anyway, we used a few different things, however your son may be too old for them.

  Whenever I knew the date I would come back, we would put a little sticker of an airplane taking of on my day of departure and one on the day of my return on the calendar.  This way, the kids had something to look forward to and could also mark off the days/weeks/months (worked great when I was in Alert).  As well, I told the kids that if they ever missed me, just to look at the constellation Orion (or the moon during the summer) and remember that we were both under the same night sky (not necessarily always true, but it made the kids feel better).  As well, I have always made sure to bring home a small treat for the kids when I came back, even if it was just FTX in Wainwright/Suffied/Shilo.  Nothing too big, a small stuffie, some small trinket, anything, again, it gives them a little boost.

  Best of luck on your course.  Cheers.
You are correct, Madame, I am drunk.  But you are ugly and in the morning I will be sober.

Offline airmich

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2006, 14:49:52 »
sunflour, my son is also 8 and I will be leaving him at home while I go away on ILQ this fall.  I have been away sailing many, many times while he has been growing up, but he has had his dad at home then.  Now that I am a single parent, I am finding it harder to think about going away, even though I trust his sitter, and they have a great time together.

What I have done, is set up his own MSN account.  I currently have a cam for the desktop that he'll be using, and will also be getting one for my laptop so he can see me and talk to me while I'm away.  I know that for you, you won't have as much access to the internet on BMQ as I will on course, but it's another idea for you for this, or other times away.

My son has become very adept over the years, and we had our stumbling blocks, but we made our way through them.  He understands how to talk on a satellite phone with the stupid delays better then most of the people I sailed with!!  What I have always done is been open with him (when I'm going, what I'm doing, when I'm expected back).  What I haven't done, is make promises that I might not be able to keep (that is, not telling him exactly when I'll next call, or for sure when I'll be home).  Be sure to tell him how much you love him and yes, for sure, always have something special for him when you get home.  And mail special postcards and treats whenever you can.

Good luck, stay strong, and remember you have a special, little guy that loves you no matter what because you're his mom!!  :)
So I'll raise a glass, not the first nor last, Come join me in this toast...Because the old black rum's got a hold on me ~ Great Big Sea

Offline sunflour

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2006, 12:11:34 »
Well this afternoon i will take my son to the dentist then i head to toronto until i leave on sunday (paperwork Fri, swearing in sat, fly out sunday).
So I'm all packed (hopefully i have everything, thanks for the tips) and ready to go, I'm finally starting to get nervous, its been a long time in the process and its hard to believe I'm finally on my way. I'm sure ill do OK.
Thanks again and ill try and keep in touch when I'm away (if i have time once all my other stuff is done of course)
ttfn :salute:

Offline GUNS

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2006, 17:49:25 »
Wecome to the family
When I do right, no one remembers.
When I do wrong, no one forgets.

Offline proudnurse

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Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2006, 01:32:29 »
Ok

Well I have been thinking about this alot longer than I have been acting on it and that is starting my career ( I love that word :) in the armed forces for nursing. I was wondering what kind of support is on the bases for soldiers that may be deployed or go into the field when you are a single parent? How many of us are out there that are taking on this challenge? I would appreciate as much info as humanly possible. I am hoping this hurdle does not stop me from persuing this, or serving my country.

Rebecca
~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Mother Teresa

17thRecceSgt

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2006, 01:40:11 »
IIRC, the MFRCs have lots of resources to tap into.  The "military community" itself is great as well at supporting its own.  As an example, I think most MFRCs have a list of willing/able adults who can take children on short notice for emergencies, and long term requirements too.

Most of the MFRCs have websites now, here is a link to a few local to me...

http://www.halifaxmfrc.ca/

http://www.pspmembers.com/smfrc/

Someone I know that is a single parent had to do a 6 month NATO on board one of the frigates, and between MFRC, her sister, friends and co-workers it all worked out fairly smoothly. 

 :D

Hope this is a good start!

MRM





Offline proudnurse

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2006, 01:46:14 »
Oh yes your words are very encouraging! I have had this calling for a while, and even being on the board I feel like part of the family already! Here I am working 2 jobs and my daughter is at home with me......I feel like we are going........nowhere? And renting our apartment that feels like it's going to fall apart sometimes.......Going back to university for more schooling? Out of the question being a single mom at 30 yrs old. Joining not only the Military and becoming a part of a BIG family.......the opportunity to gain more skills.....better future for me and the little one? And the opportunity to serve MY COUNTRY? What would anyone do?

Thanks for your reply!

Rebecca
~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Mother Teresa

17thRecceSgt

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2006, 01:48:28 »
Well, thank you.  You gave me an opportunity to do a good deed today.

A gift, even if you are unaware as to how, so thanks.

I am sure others will have much better information than mine. 

 :)

Offline proudnurse

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2006, 01:54:22 »
I guess the best way for me to truly find out, is to head to the recruiting office. I don't work Tue mornings, and after I take my daughter to school that morning I am going to take a little drive  :) I am going from Cambridge to Kitchener and I will post on how that goes! I also have 5 yrs experience in communications, working for emergency dispatch. I have alot of clerical skills, I am not an RN but I am a Home Health Care Aide. The scope of practice is more broad when you work in homecare as to working in a Nursing Home. You get a bit more training when it comes to some care duties and your not nessecarily a glorified bed sheet changer. We'll see what they say on Tues! Look for my post at that time.

Rebecca
~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Mother Teresa

Offline kincanucks

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2006, 06:16:55 »
in the armed forces for nursing, Going back to university for more schooling? Out of the question being a single mom at 30 yrs old, I am not an RN but I am a Home Health Care Aide

You do realize that to be a NO in the CF you need a BSc in Nursing or you must apply under the ROTP to go to a civilian university to get your BSc in Nursing?
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Offline proudnurse

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2006, 11:11:46 »
Yes, my day off work is Tues; when I take my daughter to school in the morning I am going to go to the recruiting office and speak with them. I am going to go from there. Thank You for your reply!

Rebecca
~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Mother Teresa

Offline proudnurse

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2006, 11:37:26 »
taking the time for college would not be a problem for me, it would be paying for college at this time in my life. I went back to college a couple yrs ago to become a home health care aid (PSW) that was a year and even that in itself was very expensive for me to pay for being a single mom.

Do not get me wrong though, I am not wanting to do this for the sake of free education, but getting your training through the CF as opposed to University.........University is very expensive !

That is not my primary reason, but a thought that does help. Plus when I am done, I will be serving my country and building a better future for my family.

Rebecca
~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Mother Teresa

Offline simysmom99

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #16 on: September 19, 2006, 11:25:35 »
I say go for it!  Yeah, it will be hard some times being away from your dd for school, deployments, etc.  But a stable job, guaranteed income, benefits, this GREAT family...
Good luck on your decision.

Offline proudnurse

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #17 on: September 19, 2006, 20:54:20 »
Thank YOU Simysmom! I was going to go today (Tue) But I decided on Thurs instead to speak with a recruiter ~ Have a bit more time! I think it's important for me not to worry too much until I actually walk in the door and speak with them! I live in Cambridge and the Recruiting office is in Kitchener. Plus it's that time of year, fall time and it's always pretty driving at this time of year! I am looking forward to it. Thanks for your reply.

Rebecca
~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Mother Teresa

Offline medicineman

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2006, 23:33:05 »
Do not get me wrong though, I am not wanting to do this for the sake of free education, but getting your training through the CF as opposed to University.........University is very expensive !

You'll still be getting your training through University - but if you luck out, you'll get the CF to pay for it. We don't actually train nurses (ie award an RN or BSN) - we give them skills necessary for a nurse to function in the military afterwards with a few top up courses (BNOC - Basic Nursing Officer Course for one) post grad.  Afterwards, they can take specialty training if they wish and vacanices, job, etc permit.  If you want the CF to pay for the training, you will have to get accepted into a program though.

MM
« Last Edit: September 19, 2006, 23:39:55 by George Wallace »
MM

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Offline proudnurse

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Re: Single Parents in the Military
« Reply #19 on: September 20, 2006, 00:49:49 »
hank You MM! For now I am going to go into the CF Recruiting Office and explain what my current skills are and what my hopeful goals are to be. Only 2 more days and I am taking the drive!

Rebecca
~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Mother Teresa

Offline unofficial

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #20 on: September 30, 2006, 09:11:06 »
Sunflour Congrates first I am sure you are excited and scared as hell in your new adventure. As for your boy I am sure as long as you call regularly and just be who you are when you talk he will be okay. He is 8 and I believe it is easier for the younger children than a teen. Attitude is everything you both have a big change in your lives and as long as you keep you and him as the number one importance you both will do okay.

Offline FastEddy

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #21 on: September 30, 2006, 13:48:40 »
well i got my call last week  i leave this sunday for basic in St-Jean
im ready to go  and i hope i have prepared my son for me to leave (he turns 8 on friday ) the best i can with just over a weeks notice that moms going to go away till almost christmas..

just wondering if there are any other single parents or parents with younger kids (ive read some post  but their kids were teenages) out there with advice about what you did/ do when your away from your kids to help them and yourself cope with the seperation


Well done Young Lady !.

Don't worry, everthing will workout okay.

Cheers.
Discipline By Example

Offline R@chel

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #22 on: October 01, 2006, 23:22:39 »
Congrats and best of luck.
Rachel

Offline xo31@711ret

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #23 on: October 02, 2006, 00:00:10 »
Congrats & good luck; you'll do fine  :)

Offline elixa

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Re: single mom just got my call ..
« Reply #24 on: November 12, 2006, 02:33:53 »
Congrats on your enrollment.  I'm in the process of applying now and am the single mother of a 5 year old.  I've been having the same worries myself about what will happen to him with me gone for long periods of time during training. Currently he has never been away for me for more then 24 hours and all he really has is his grandmother to care for him while i'm gone.  I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do exactly while away.  Guess I'll be racking in the old airmiles for weekend trips home in times that i'm allowed weekend passes.  :)